My predictions for today's event

– Apple will announce the oft-rumored Yellow Submarine iPod, but it will come preloaded with Gregorian Chants covers of Beatles songs.

 – The iPod Classic will not be discontinued, but will be renamed the “Why on earth do you need to carry 120g of music with you?”

 – There will be an upgraded iPod Touch, and the Divinyls will introduce it by playing iTouch myself.

 – The “Its only rock and roll” title is a red herring. Instead, Apple will announce the publication of never-released Kenny G tracks.

 – Appearing with Jobs on stage will be Keith Richards and Steven Tyler in a sad attempt to make Jobs look healthier. Also, Phil Schiller will have gone on a high colonic fasting diet to weigh less than Jobs.

 Sent from my iPhone